DADA Series (Dignified Ageing and Dementia Awareness) Courtesy: Sanchita Chakraborty

DO’S AND DON’TS OF COMMUNICATION

DO

Talk to the person in a tone that conveys respect and dignity.

Keep your explanations short. Use clear and flexible language.

Maintain eye contact by positioning yourself at the person’s eye level.

Look directly at the person and ensure that you have their attention before you speak. Always begin by identifying yourself and explain what it is you propose to do.

Use visual cues whenever possible.

Be realistic in expectations.

Observe and attempt to interpret the person’s non verbal communication.

Paraphrase and use a calm and reassuring tone.

Speak slowly and say individual words clearly. Use strategies to reduce the effects of hearing impairment.

Encourage talk about things that they are familiar with.

Use touch if appropriate.

DON’T

Talk to the person in ‘baby talk’ or as if you are talking to a child.

Use complicated words or phrases and long sentences.

Glare at, or “eyeball” the person you are talking to.

Begin a task without explaining who you are or what you are about to do.

Talk to the person without eye contact, such as while rummaging in a drawer to select clothing.

Try and compete with a distracting environment.

Provoke a catastrophic reaction through unrealistic expectations or by asking the person to do more than one task at a time.

Disregard your own non verbal communication.

Disregard talk that may seem to be “rambling”.

Shout or talk too fast.

Interrupt unless it cannot be helped.

Attempt to touch or invade their personal space if they are showing signs of fear or aggression.


CARING FOR THE CAREGIVER

As a caregiver, you must learn to nurture your own needs. Here are a few recommendations to help you cope with the demanding role of being a caregiver:

Look for support — many family caregivers withdraw from family and friends because they feel no one understands. It is very helpful and in many cases, therapeutic, for you to join a support group where you can learn from others through sharing your experiences.

Let go of guilt — Let go of the “guilt trip” by realizing a need to temporarily set aside caregiving responsibilities for a period of respite.

Nurture the body — Be sure to get enough sleep and eat properly.

Take breaks from caregiving as often as possible by asking other family members to help.

Establish limits — Say no to requests that are beyond your capacity and say yes to offers of help from family and friends.

Author Profile:

Sanchita Chakraborti, a Minnesota Graduate with 14 years of Corporate Experience in various capacities in global sales, strategy and research functions, a fitness freak and a voracious reader.


References

The Dementia India Report 2010
Dementia Care: A Guide for Family Caregivers by Home Instead Senior Care

DADA Series (Dignified Ageing and Dementia Awareness) Courtesy: Sanchita Chakraborty

TOP TEN TIPS FOR DEALING WITH DEMENTIA SYMPTOMS

STOP!! Think about what you are about to do and consider the best way to do it.

PLAN AND EXPLAIN – Who you are; what you want to do; why you want to do it etc.

SMILE!! The person who takes their cue from you will mirror your relaxed and positive body language and tone of voice.

GO SLOW!! You have a lot to do and you are in a rush; but the person you are caring for isn’t. If the person is resistive or aggressive but is NOT causing harm to themselves or others, leave them alone. Give them time to settle down and approach them later.

GIVE THEM SPACE!! Any activity that involves invasion of personal space INCREASES THE RISK OF ASSAULT AND/OR AGGRESSION. Every time you provide care for a person you are invading their space.

STAND ASIDE!! Always provide care from the side not the front of the person, where you may be a target to hit, kick etc.

DISTRACT THEM!! Talk to the person about things they enjoyed in the past. Whilst you are providing care, allow them to hold a towel or something that will distract them.

KEEP IT QUIET!! Check noise level and reduce it when and where possible. Turn off the radio and TV etc.

DON’T ARGUE!! They are RIGHT and you are WRONG! The demented brain tells the person they can’t be wrong.

KNOW THE PERSON!! Orientate to their surroundings as necessary. If they become upset by this reality, validate and agree with their feelings.

MEANINGFUL ACTIVITIES

For an individual with dementia a meaningful activity is anything that fills time with a purpose and keeps them occupied. Being occupied and feeling included are two of the main psychological needs of people with dementia. Examples of meaningful activities include:

1. Sorting laundry
2. Going for a walk
3. Reading the newspaper or looking at pictures in magazines
4. Potting plants or bulbs or watering plants

Cooking in safety may be valuable and will make the person with dementia feel they are contributing to the daily tasks in the house. Setting tables, clearing up, washing and drying dishes are all familiar activities.

Music as a therapy has been well documented in dementia care.

Activities should be about pleasure and success, not stretching or challenging the person.

Activities should complement lifetime habits so it is important to be familiar with the likes and dislikes of the person with dementia. Things that gave the person pleasure and made them laugh before the dementia will still do so later on.


References

1. The Dementia India Report 2010
2. Dementia Care: A Guide for Family Caregivers by Home Instead Senior Care

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Author Profile:

Sanchita Chakraborti, a Minnesota Graduate with 14 years of Corporate Experience in various capacities in global sales, strategy and research functions, a fitness freak and a voracious reader.

DADA Series (Dignified Ageing and Dementia Awareness) Courtesy: Sanchita Chakraborty

WHAT IS DEMENTIA?

The World Health Organization (WHO) describes dementia as: “…a syndrome due to disease of the brain, usually of a chronic or progressive nature, of which there is impairment of multiple higher cortical functions…”

What this definition means is that the following functions may be affected in a person with dementia:

Memory – This is where a person may become forgetful of things such as names or recent events. The person’s short-term memory is usually affected leading them to forget recent events.

Orientation – A person with dementia may become lost even in a familiar environment.

Comprehension – The person may have difficulty understanding what it is you are trying to explain to them or what you are asking of them.

Emotions – Very low stress levels can occur in someone with dementia and they may therefore overreact to seemingly ordinary situations. A person with dementia may misinterpret a situation and become easily upset or agitated.

Judgment – A culmination of some or all of the above can result in poor judgment regarding others or themselves.

India is a diverse country with geographical and socio-cultural differences. We have a rapidly aging population, which currently exceeds more than a 100 million people. This number will steadily increase in the coming decades. Age related disabling conditions like dementia would increase and have a wider impact depending on the socio-cultural context.

It is estimated that over 3.7 million people were affected by dementia in our country in 2010. This is expected to double by 2030. Despite the magnitude, there is gross ignorance; neglect and services are scarce for people with dementia and their families. We know that dementia is not part of aging and it is caused by a variety of diseases. We now have a range of options to treat the symptoms of dementia and offer practical help to those affected. The challenge posed by dementia as a health and social issue is of a scale we can no longer ignore.

CHALLENGING BEHAVIOUR

People with dementia exhibit the following behaviors:

1. Restlessness
2. Aggression
3. Agitation
4. Wandering
5. Shadowing
6. Anxiety
7. Depressed mood
8. Hallucinations
9. Delusions

Caregivers are encouraged to view dementia as a disability that can be compensated for by positive approaches. People with dementia continue to function at an emotional level and will pick up on another person’s feelings (particularly if they are stressed or upset or annoyed) via body language, tone of voice and facial expression.

References

1. The Dementia India Report 2010
2. Dementia Care: A Guide for Family Caregivers by Home Instead Senior Care

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Author Profile:

Sanchita Chakraborti, a Minnesota Graduate with 14 years of Corporate Experience in various capacities in global sales, strategy and research functions, a fitness freak and a voracious reader.

A piece of you!

It is not a smart thing to do – to refuse money or pretend that you are way above real cash.

They all have the best of intentions when they try to assist our NGO with a contact that will fund our projects. In July, a relative wanted me to join her in Nagpur so that she could introduce me to important people who will be keen to sponsor. Another well-wisher, even before asking our NGO’s name, shared a name at C-level to support fund raising. When asked, why he wants to assist our NGO, one of the reasons were that he works with a political party and contributes to people like me who take responsibility of helping society. “People like me?”

At this stage, we want volunteers to own our projects, people to drive social entrepreneurship, support our initiatives, echo for us, be our ambassadors - more WITH TIME, than WITH MONEY. We focus on the “being” part of Human Being, so the labels cannot influence our journey. Just be good to do good, it works.

We need people with high integrity, character ethics and not just someone driven by superficial personality mirage. We need youth with sensitivity, whose inward journey has begun, aspiring global citizens.

We can always prepare a call script to outsource fund raising activity and have a dozen strangers do it mechanically without any sense of ownership to impact lives. As of now, we need personal ownership, not postman service – a piece of you! It is not about a maddening pursuit for money.

Will YOU write the next blog for us?
Will YOU call that sponsor and talk about what we do?
Will YOU stand in the stall with us to sell a painting by a spastic child or a handicraft to support a home?
Will YOU spend your birthday in an orphanage?
Will YOU make an effort to learn more about us?

Regardless of how much you nurture a plant, it has a time frame to bear fruits. There is no short cut to that. Try to assist a chicken that is trying to break free from the shell by an external force, to make it easy for the chicken, in all probability it will die. We draw our strengths from our struggle to change people’s mindset, thought patterns, way of life, sensitivities and sensibilities – The Shell. Money can wait. We are one and a half years old NGO and we really want to behave like one.

Next time someone remarks on world poverty with a self-sufficient mentality, “Our country has not reported any deaths due to hunger” we have a task in hand – change frame of reference! We do not need money to do that. Do we?


About the Author

Kakuli Nag is a Leaning Consultant for project needs analysis with BECKON model that advocates for outcomes. 18 years of corporate experience in Sales, Learning and Marketing. An avid writer in multiple forums.

Which phase are you in?

A man is said to pass through different stages in his lifetime. Dr. Wayne W. Dyer categorizes them as athlete stage, warrior stage, statesperson stage and spirit stage. Abdul Kalam believes even nations go through these transitions and called the last two stages as Big Brother and Self realization stages respectively.

Athlete stage is that energetic pursuit of performance and achievement

Warrior stage is that goal setting, pride of achievements and finding ways to demonstrate superiority

In the big brother stage, with a somewhat tamed ego, focus shifts to what is also important to others and societies – still achievers but not so inclined or obsessed to prove strength or superiority.

Self-realization stage is where humans matter, not families or nations alone, and certainly not self.

There are many senior people all around us who are very well established and highly successful, their children well settled, however even after their retirement, they still could not get past that demonstrating superiority stage. Initially their subject of discussion revolves around their own materialistic achievements - the villa, the cars, the foreign trips, the club memberships, the high profile job, then it is their children’s achievement – the foreign degree, their villas, their cars and their high paid jobs or medical profession or whatever, finally the subject is their grand children who is a ranker in school, great dancer, swimmer, athlete etc. It is not parental pride; it is plain and simple bloated ego! The Warrior Stage!

At times even if there is a will, it is always not possible to adopt an orphan child, or sponsor a senior’s treatment or child’s education every month – one can at least begin by being sensitive enough not to flaunt their achievements in front of people who do not have the means. Instead, they could share their struggles with them, their humble beginnings before their success in a manner, not to stamp their personal ego but in way others can relate and be inspired to enhance their quality of life. Is this anything less of giving? Someone’s life is getting impacted positively because of the life you lived; the success you tasted and the ready willingness you have to assist another achieve the same.

That is one of RSF’s core themes – Human Life Cycle Care that runs on the belief that any small or large scale social impact cannot be limited to a dozen institution’s responsibility alone, it has to be an individual choice. The next time you raise your maid’s pay or tip the waiter, be generous. The big brother stage is not about what you have gathered for yourself but what and how much, you have learnt to give.

If you are done with the first two stages and want to do something meaningful, feel free to contact us as we have several projects to be taken up by people with that intent. Twenty or Sixty, regardless of the age, the only criterion is you should be really done with the first two stages.

References:

Ignited Minds – APJ Abdul Kalam

For more details or to support our projects, contact ramosara.foundation@gmail.com

Make Meaning in what you do

Just imagine, working in a senior position in a large IT company in a major metro with considerable name, money, respect and responsibility. Alternatively, imagine another scenario. You work all your waking hours to establish yourself all over again in a completely alien environment, no one to question you, not sure whether your hard work will pay off, not many understand or appreciate what you do, with absolutely zero assurance of any credit to your account on the 1st of the following month.

Does this saga sound familiar? It sure does as all those who leave their well-paid jobs to start their own ventures with a dream to live their life a little more beyond the walls of a corporate job and soar the vast sky of possibilities, trying to make a difference, have more or less the same story to relate. I am no different. As an entrepreneur, I have had my low and high times - sweat, agony, frustration, excitement, freedom, pride, and sense of accomplishment.

My beginnings were humble with bare minimum resources, the journey from college to corporate with warm wishes of many people was smooth and with an attitude never to give up and sheer persistence, I probably could reach the advisory board of any organization in the corporate world, but then what next? What about the rest of the summers I would live?

The economics of big business, the politics of big economics, the combination of short lived success and long standing failures or otherwise, the humiliation and celebrations of life, the ups and downs only sharpens your focus to take that plunge you have been wanting to take for a long time. And I did, with a little bit of coaxing from my son.

My background, my understanding of the challenges to get industry ready work force with the right behavioral skills, allowed me to believe that I could be the architect for a better India in my own way. India being a 1.2 billion people country, average age of 26, with rapid urbanization, millions of capable and educated young people who had the potential, could be empowered to be leaders, thinkers, apart from being just breadwinners. Though, tough, I chose the road less traveled, out of my cozy cocoon of corporate comfort and ventured to a start-up!

The benefits that my corporate job offered me by default does not interest me the way it did earlier. Today, Blue Tiger, which I founded with couple for friends works, with a simple vision to assist people live the best of their lives and enjoy the beautiful journey called life with the core principle “Life is Simple, Keep it that way!”

I now understand why I was approached by this NGO to write a blog – It is not because of who I am, what my degrees are, where I worked, what label I carry, how influential I am, who I know but what I currently do. Which automatically leads me to believe, would they even bother to call me if I owned a wine shop or a casino or probably if I remained stuck to my old job? Is my work affecting anyone in a positive way was their only qualifying criteria?

They were so sure about my competence in writing that they asked me to write the blog without bothering if it fits their NGO’s agenda. They assured me that my blog would certainly drive one of their key messages  – Social Impact in what you do!

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Author Profile:

Sampath Iyengar is CEO and Chief Coach at Blue Tiger, a platform for excellence through learning, with 25 years of corporate experience. He is an avid reader, well traveled, fitness monk and a long distance runner.

Life is Simple, keep it that way.

Just a way of life!

Something crossed my mind a couple of months back when I first learnt about this NGO from my neighbor – Human life cycle care, social impact, Dementia awareness, fun with a cause etc  – all of it got jumbled and was lost in my routine of Job hunt, cooking, driving classes, groceries, home, son, husband - my personal priorities of course.

As I was an above average student in school, back home, everyone’s expectations were I would end up doing a high paid job. An early marriage did not allow me to even explore that option. Now with my nine-year-old son’s dependency on me, significantly reduced, the hunt began.

I had loads of energy and I channelized it by teaching in a school for six months for free, voluntarily running a Library in our residential complex Park to inculcate reading habit in all residents and ensure children’s cyber well being. As volunteers, we did not bear any infrastructure cost nor charged any reading fee but just utilized our own book collection and leveraged my personal furniture.

Recently we were all part of Green Initiative where we planted around 50 saplings in and around our complex, which seemed like a celebration and it was heartening to watch how involved the children were by being the first one to be around, planting, tapping mud, sprinkling water, carrying sapling to the proposed place to assist a senior plant it.

Again couple of weeks before that we had pot luck lunch that was arranged for fun on a neighbor’s birthday, however it was aimed to be a platform for greater good – A platform to exchange services that neighbors were willing to offer - Interiors of a house, tutor children, Day Care or Language learning, acquire new skills like embroidery or avail parlor or tailoring or catering services. A potential business model if one invests in a website with this data of available services from every residential complex in this belt, charge a nominal fee for inserting every new business or service in the site – which could be so useful for the residents in this layout and support upcoming entrepreneurs.

Meanwhile, a start up school engaged my services and after I got my first salary, I remembered exactly what had crossed my mind when I first heard about the NGO – I will sponsor at least something for RSF whenever I can.

I am yet to know what all they do.  While Dementia awareness is their core theme (I heard about Dementia for the first time from a member of this NGO), they are enthusiastic about anything that drives social impact – Library, Green Initiative, Career counseling, getting funds for a school and does not matter who coordinates or conducts it. They do not belong to Stick-for-a-click clan where a person/ organization/ celebrity sticks to a cause which ends with just a click - photograph, they do not use high-sounding slogans  – Save a child, “Giving” is a chemical formula, profitability with social justice, pause for a cause – they just make caring for the society your way of life. Human Life Cycle Care does make sense now. It just makes you a little selfless.

And being able to sponsor the badges, I am not creating any impact for RSF – I am the impact.

Shilpa Shreeharsha is a teacher in an English Medium School situated in the suburbs of Bangalore, an avid reader and an enthusiast for social good.