It is my birthday, today.

An old school friend called me from Bangalore today. She recently lost her mother and I could not muster courage to call her when I first learnt about it from other sources.

Today, when she called and we got chatting about how the last few days were – the vacuum this loss created in their lives, way forward and old memories

Slowly we drifted to other topics - education, values, charity, her children, corporate life and something that caught my attention was when she said, 

“We will lose many people (she quoted a percentage, which I am unable to recall now) from this area in the next few years because mostly retired people stay here whose children are far away"

They are affluent, reasonably healthy and probably travel through technology to their children lives, every second day - the SKYPE, Watsapp and the Duo. It is not about money or convenience. 

How can only money help if a senior needs to visit the hospital for a regular check up and has to run around filling forms, or to different quarters for doctors, tests, reports and payments? 

The needs seem very simple and yet it is very crucial for the well being of this generation who are in their late sixties.

Someone to talk to

Some one who can escort to the hospital

My friend does this religiously - meeting seniors in her area on Saturdays just for a heart to heart chat. I almost choked when I tried to imagine the selflessness of the act and the impact it could possible have on these people.

We all have choices

We either get into that global gyan mode of sermonizing what their children could have done, how parents could have inculcated those values in them to take care of seniors or 

Just do our bit

What moved her to tears and gave me goose bumps was when she mentioned that one of her friends was having a walk early in the morning one day, when a senior person, called her and suddenly asked her to join her for lunch that day. 

"Why Aunty? What special today?"

The senior lady's answer to that question sums up her entire life and existence. How lonely she must be to call an almost stranger or a random acquaintance walking on the road for lunch - to give her company.

"It is my birthday, today"

Please promise us that you will try this with the senior neighbors and relatives, this Christmas.

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You definitely do not want another lonely voice to ask you to join her/ him for lunch - just hoping for some company on a special day. 

To keep a senior's dignity intact, just reverse the role and call them instead.

Write to ramosara.foundation@gmail.com about experiences you want to share regarding senior living and dignified ageing to create awareness about lifestyle choices.

Joy of sharing

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I had my usual plans on my wife’s birthday – a royal treat and a memorable gift. What I was not aware of is - my lady had very different plans this year. To my surprise, she thanked me when I proposed my idea of celebration and politely declined to be part of my usual plan.

We were only too thrilled when she suggested she wanted to celebrate her birthday, this year with orphan children. It is such a simple gesture and yet it was never done before until she came up with that idea. I was stunned and seriously, happy

She had been contemplating on this for quite some time, planned every bit of it and had taken approval from the NGO for this celebration.

So on 20^th April - I, my wife Ranjana and my daughter Garima went to this orphanage that was home for 30 children of different ages.

It is beyond words to express the feeling we shared with these children - moments captured with joy and teary eyes. Ranjana told the children that it was not her birthday but their birthday – each one of them.

We got the cake cut by a little girl first and then each one present there cut the same cake wishing Happy Birthday to one another.

This was followed by snacks, juice, gifts etc. Ranjana sat among the children enjoying her snacks with them. I watched her – She looked blissfully happy.

What is important to mention here is – Each child waited will the last one got his plate served, to begin their gratitude prayers - Thanking God for the food offered to them.

That gesture had a lasting impact on me. I couldn’t hold my tears as I saw these well-mannered children, take little bites of their snacks.

I was trying to read their faces and smiles - They were happy and enjoying every moment.

Now the real entertainment started when we were asked by the children to dance on Bollywood and Tollywood tunes. As the music took momentum, slowly one by one all started to get up and rocked the floor. Everyone was in full mood and we saw some amazing dance performance by these children – My wife and daughter were dancing too.

Finally it was time to say goodbye to children. Life has to go on.

We wished the children good luck. While returning back home Ranjana told that this was the best birthday celebration she ever had. I could see the calmness in her, fully satisfied.

We thanked her for this thought and making us a part of it. I whispered to myself – Unconsciously what a great example this day was for my daughter!!

There is no better feeling than joy of sharing.

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