Coffee, Sizzlers, Dosa, Fun, what else?

Image Source: Office.com

We three were placed in different parts of Kolkata –With forthcoming exams, responsibilities in office and home, prior engagements during weekends - our meeting seemed impossible. Finally we decided to meet on a week day promising each other we will wind up in one hour. One had to pick up her daughter, I had to return home and pick up my new lap top that day and the third one had a son preparing for his Higher Secondary exams.

It all started with wow how we looked, what we were doing to stay fit, what the rest of our school friends were doing, and gradually the discussion went on to something else – There were so many ideas popping up as we spoke that I had to use the tissue paper to scribble and work on those actionable thoughts and suggestions that my friend who is the director of an NGO kept pouring incessantly.

Even after two rounds of order – Masala Dosa, Vada, sizzlers and two rounds of coffee, our discussion continued and it lasted for close to three hours. The daughter got picked up by the husband. The poor son had to study on his own. The laptop really had to wait till 8 PM. What did we talk about after all?

·         Workshops for Caregivers to Dementia patients including training from Psychologists

·         Newspaper Campaign to support Dementia patients

·         How to handle learning disability in children and parents?

We had fun meeting our old school friends and some great exchange of ideas. The point is – let us have fun, an active social life, party hard, dance like crazy, have fun all the way!

Are we having fun with a sense of responsibility?

In your next party at home or family picnic outside, before you give that one big Biryani order for forty people, ask yourself if you would like to increase the revenue of an established outlet or the widow who runs a food joint around the corner whose son is in class V. You heard that her food is great, from many who have tried. What is stopping you to order - Is it your fetish for brand, your image in the online universe or hygiene or quality?

Bill Gates rightly said - there are three kinds of wealthy people – one who owns everything - yacht, island and half the world, one who invests in business to make more for the world, one who donates to charity organizations to make a difference to the world.  (May be not those exact words, that is the essence though)

Have Fun! Do we need to be brand conscious morons when we have a choice and the power to lift someone else?

You are wealthy, now get rich! No, they are not the same thing.

Author Profile: Kakuli Nag

You Are Doing Great Things And Going Places, Just Wanted To Know – Are You Happy?

Image Credit: RSF

Here is a subject that is close to my heart - It is close because it is a lesson I learnt after living over three decades of my life. The lesson was taught by our very own teacher called time.

To me being happy means:

·        Do everything that gives us a feel good vibe.

·        Refuse to do anything that does not feel good, no matter what the pressure is

·        Not to give ourselves permission to do something that will hurt another living being (even if it gives us good vibes due to some quirky sense of humor)

It is simple but not easy. All we need to do is let go of our nature to compare ourselves with others, to judge others without actually being in their shoes or living their lives and that nagging fear of making wrong choices or our anger when we do make those mistakes.

In other words we are human beings and we will always try to validate ourselves with our known benchmarks. For us it is a natural thing to do. How can we overcome our shortcomings?

 “Acceptance” - Accepting ourselves as we are, loving ourselves even when we made wrong choices and living life as it is meant to be lived - one day at a time!

Be happy as that is the key to your mental health. What gym is to your body, being happy is to your mind.

You look depressed after viewing those hundred odd photographs of your friend’s world tour or Scuba diving or that handsome hunk or the glass cut beauty in their engagement albums.

Go back to bullet no. two, before you add weeds, mess with your mind and stay depressed rest of the day. Happiness is not something you create - it is a state of mind. Only you can own that.

When you have a senior person in your house suddenly talk about his childhood, live in those days as if he is in college or just married, address people with names of that time – it probably does not occur to you that the man who looks physically fine and healthy is displaying one of the early symptoms of Dementia.

You can’t take charge of your mind when it is already affected, be responsible today! Be happy – that is the surest way to take care of your mind.

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Author Profile: Kalpana Mahalingam

Kalpana has always been inclined towards betterment of children's welfare, supporting upcoming entrepreneurs/ boutique managers with financial contribution to support their cause. She is an artist, conversationalist, fluent in German and currently dwelling on her French and guitar classes. After several years in Corporate, she is now on her own entrepreneurial journey.

The Last Few Years

Lord Richard Attenborough’s death is still reeling in our minds – The 1982 magic with Gandhi and all those Oscars, his appearance in dinosaur blockbuster Jurassic Park, his work as a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF and other humanitarian causes – He is so fondly remembered, for everything he was, everything he did. RIP.

How did this man survive his last few years? I will touch upon this in just a minute.

Many are not sure if DADA (Dignified Aging and Dementia Awareness) one of the key themes of Ramosara Foundation will fly off. Would anyone actually want to switch to an old age home willingly? Sell their house to plan retirement in a Home? Would anyone in their thirties plan and save to live in an old age home after a certain age? That is exactly the idea Ramosara Foundation is promoting – Old Age Home as a Life Style Option. Is that not against our culture and belief system? Hold on to that doubt too.

Yet deep down, many will want this idea to work. There is no guarantee about our physical health and how long we will live – how well our minds will work? As you age, this gradual dependence on others is the painful part - particularly when you find your family member’s course of lives change only because of you – A son unable to take that international assignment as he is worried stiff about you - Whether they let go of that opportunity gladly to accommodate you or not so gladly, you do have your pangs of guilt.

DADA is just to bring a tiny round of awareness in you for such possibilities of dependence in future, encourage you to plan well in advance to live with dignity without disturbing any other family member’s space. Make it a personal choice. A conscious choice! To move!

The whole concept of DADA is to say, you really do not have to be pitted against a wall or be constrained by circumstances to decide moving to an Old Age Home - just plan for it as one of your options like you plan other things in life. If people can buy life insurances, why not buy a nice cozy room with food, attendant and health check up services for your later years too?

Through DADA, we are fast-forwarding you mentally twenty to thirty years from now to allow you to visualize possible realities. Wishful thinking is fine however a reality check is better any day. There is more to this age, than just financial security, health check up and medicine. If you lose that sense of belonging with your family, you lose it all!

Lord Attenborough was confined to wheelchair after a stroke in 2008, in March last year he moved to a home for elderly, his wife Sheila Sim, 92 a year older than him who suffers from Dementia had been in that home since middle of 2012. Both assisted to found and fund the home to ensure it runs well.

If someone of his magnitude, who was known as ‘Titan of British Cinema’ by BAFTA, some one who had connects with the royal family, an amazing actor and brilliant director - could live his last years in an elderly home, you never really know! Life is unpredictable.

Exercise your choice now. If you want to know more about DADA, please reach out to ramosara.foundation@gmail.com for more details 

And the winner is..

One of our initiatives under the scope of BLESS model to impact and transform people’s lives, reduce stress levels is to engage them in meaningful activities – morning walks, learning culture and healthy competitions.

In the recent art competition that was conducted in our residential complex, who is supposed to be the winner?

Is it the group who made an intricate, well thought design of actually creating two human shapes? It can be relatively easy with pencil and brush but not powder. The powerful message being - it is not we humans who consume the cigarette but the other way around and they hammered a simple question into our minds – “When we know it, why we do it?”

Heights of creativity was to have a real cigarette bud stand tall in the cigarette bud portion of the art.

Or should this group be chosen as winner who prepared Lord Ganesha’s entire form with rice, suji and dal wanting to tell the world that in every morsel of food, there is God – Don’t waste food. Thirty minutes after the competition, every thing that was used, was back to their respective containers to be consumed.

Another participant all by herself, true to the essence of rangoli, used only powder and an art typically with dots to finish her piece in just half an hour while the allotted time was a hour with a few minutes of grace period

Or should the group of teenagers be applauded who were in the game not really to give the adults a stiff competition but with a spirit of celebration as this competition was organized on ocassion of New Years and Sankranti. A huge flower with beautifully colored petals beyond the four by four feet space that was allocated to each contestant stood testimony to that spirit of togetherness.

Or is it that solo participant who decided to participate inspite of a lingering foot pain and who could not keep her legs folded for too long, just to respect the efforts of the organisors and the mood.

Or finally a lady nearing seventy who, ten minutes before the final buzzer, drew a pair of cup and saucer to drink tea and coffee just to represent neighborly exchange and wrote the following message on the ground – Happy New Year Good Luck! What would you be doing when you are at that age?

The standard line in every reality show we watch says, all are winners and then the award goes to someone in particular. The judge was Harish from Anekal town who owns the page Bannada Baduku (Colors of life) in Face Book said something in those lines.

Here is a small trivia, for you to judge now.

A young mom who just came to the venue as a viewer, jumped into the competition to assist the lady with foot pain, seeing her struggle, before it became severe so that the art can be completed within the time frame and she can be relieved. And another neighbor who was passing by with a lollypop in her mouth assisted the teenagers, who had obviously done an art too large for them to handle in one hour.

Now you know who is the winner. The young mom and the helping neighbor, right? And not to forget that old aunt wishing luck.

It was never about the art or competition or winning, it was only and only about people.

To know more about BLESS model and if you are keen to introduce this in your complex write to Ramosara.foundation@gmail.com

Being Aware Is Not Enough – Act!

When a well wisher forwarded this today, I remembered the first draft of my mail I had sent to few of my contacts a couple of years back - trying to find like minded people to form the society with the objective to create awareness on Dementia.

Now when people reach out to us when a Dementia patient is missing or when they find a relative is suffering from Dementia and they do not know how to deal with it, I have to ask three fundamental questions:

Is awareness enough?
Is there any action we can take now?
Is it possible to avoid?

You need not be part of an NGO, or any movement – just be responsible for yourself. Some things really are not in the capacity of an NGO as those are individual choices. Awareness bit is our scope. Action piece is yours.

Your life style
Your pursuits
Your priorities

The whole of this year went in shaping a model called BLESS (Book Library and Exchange Skills/ Services) conceptualized by a few voracious readers which is platform to share learning, skills and engage people in meaningful activities – change lives, thought patterns and even belief system. As we know, just being aware is not enough, this was an attempt to allow people escape routine and make community initiative a personal choice and also take care of their well being.

Next time you are part of anti obesity drive or walk for Diabetes or attend a workshop on Dementia, go beyond awareness, Act!! Like my friend just did, by forwarding this to me.

Author Profile:

Kakuli Nag has authored two books and is a consultant for learning solutions and content strategy.


Source: Publication Daily Mirror



Do You Have A Reason To Run Or Just A Season?

Have you reached the grounds as part of a corporate initiative or to meet more people and have fun? Is your agenda just to network, build relationships, pick those T Shirts and caps, click photographs and glam up facebook albums? Is the whole Marathon or Walkathon to hit kilometres in a specific time frame just a self absorbed, self bloating engine? Or is it just fashion?

I walk approximately five kilometres every morning and some evenings do twenty rounds in my corridor. So my neighbor probably thought I was the perfect person to join her daughter for a Walkathon that was scheduled on 15th November from Kanteerva Stadium sponsored and presented by Lifestyle - A Landmark Group Initiative.

Before I agreed or asked any question regarding the event – How many kilometers, what time, starting point etc I wanted to know if the event was supporting any cause. The link that was shared for registration said “Beat Diabetes” I was on for the Walkathon.

Late in the evening that day, my mother told my nephew in Kolkata that I had walked a few kilometers that morning with a few hundred people to beat diabetes. I am not sure if that registered in his mind immediately.

My nephew is a juvenile diabetic, since he was thirteen years old – He had regular dozes of insulin for a few years and is now on medicines with a dozen restrictions. His recent tests, done almost the same time the Walkathon was held, reflected sugar level on the higher side again. Inspite of repeated requests we could never get him to have Walking in his exercise regime, which is highly recommended for diabetic patients. He would always promise that he will walk and then as usual - human inertia.

My nephew could not ignore this simple gesture I made for the cause. Again, I am not sure, if it is to beat his own sugar level or to respect my effort or thank me, since a week, he is walking for an hour every morning, my sister confirmed.

It is really not about record you create or break, it is the meaning you bring along that counts.You really have to save your energy to be able to run a full marathon. More than that, Diabetes or Dementia – does not matter, save the cause.

About the Author:

Kakuli Nag is a Learning Consultant with 18 years of corporate experience in Sales, Training and Consulting. An avid blogger in multiple forums. advocatingoutcomes@blogspot.com

Cash or Kind?

Honestly, I was clueless.

The response I got from one of the orphanages actually caught me off guard. I innocently wanted to know if it is okay to get gifts for kids when I visit them. I was told in detail about the condition of the school’s infrastructure and they were pretty direct about seeking cash donations only. I suddenly felt small and helpless – the tiny wish I had to spend time with kids seemed remote. They did not refuse however they voiced repeatedly that they had a tight schedule. OK I got the message. I just experienced being let down, not invited, unwanted and surplus. Why was I doing all this in the first place?

I spoke to another orphanage expecting them to be different. This time I deliberately ignored the gift part and just stated that I wanted to visit them. The founder was busy and suggested we meet his wife. Although he was pretty much polite and warm over phone compared to the other gentleman I spoke to, I was a little apprehensive and still had that lingering feeling of a cold response.

My friend who was supposed to join me was the co founder of an NGO that runs a program where they encourage people to celebrate their birthdays with orphans. I was not at all aware of the program but as my birthday was just few days away, she was all excited about the perfect timing.

We spoke to the founder Mr. Thomas for an hour or so – the history of 37 years old Familia. This really was not a conventional home, it was based on commune building with foster parents. A man with so much devotion, commitment and zeal, who proudly showed his children’s photographs, happily married and some of them who contribute to this mission that continued his legacy for close to four decades uninterrupted. For most part I remained a silent observer, which I usually am, with a nod here and a smile there.

It is only and only when I saw the whole place, through the eyes of Mamuni, an inmate there, walked through the acres - things began to change. The pride in her voice, the sense of belonging she had, the warmth in her touch when she posed with us for photographs, the way she coaxed us to enter one of the homes to meet the kids who were rehearsing a Tollywood number for the evening program, that twinkle in her eye when she told about her ambition to be a nurse because it was father’s dream (The Founder), the mention of the near by old age home where her grandmother died a couple of years back –As I heard her, the cold responses I received in the morning seemed to fade and a warm feeling return in its place.

The way she stretched her hands enthusiastically to indicate the vastness of the property in which a few buildings were homes for over 50 children, a few farms that were revenue generating models to run the homes apart from the foreign funds, a bakery in house that serves supply of bread for children and staff, plenty of trees, a few ponds full of fishes, an upcoming school, the plants and saplings her mother planted –The only thing evident during that tour was, the young girl was talking about HER HOME.

So Cash or Kind? Of course Cash when you know it is in safe hands, well utilized. It is not always about income tax benefit when you donate. It is a connect deep down. Sponsor a day’s Lunch donating five thousand or just give chocolates and pens on special ocassions, the Mamunis there with their small and big dreams will make you want to do more, as they appreciate your time and gestures so very much! You feel tall and good inside – And transformed within.


Author Profile

Anindita Basu is associated with one of the leading companies in the steel industry. She loves travelling and is aiming towards entrepreneurship in near future.