Mindsets: Own it Up

I was in my apartment in Bangalore suburbs, miles away from the city, cozy and comfortable, with neighbors – waiting to cut the cake to welcome New Year and wish each other.

In the other corner of the city something else was going on.

We discussed. We analysed. We blamed. 

Is this due to male chauvinism?

Is this due to low self esteem?

Is this due to identity crisis?

Is this just show of power?

Is this poor upbringing? 

Is it lifestyle choices?

OR 

Is this just failed parental strategy?

How do parents bring up their boys?

They don’t raise them to assault 

They don’t raise them to raise their voices either

They don’t raise them to take stand

They don’t raise them to defend the right

They don’t raise them to own up what they did – good or bad

They don’t tell them about soul intelligence

They don’t build their faith

Do they let ethics, moral standards and values be practiced?

Do they set the right examples?

Do they nurture their esteem or ego?

On my father's death anniversary a couple of months back, my neighbor and her teen age daughter came to our house, after she was back from B-School, around seven in the night. Her mother asked me politely where my father's photograph was placed. I took them to our God's room. The young girl lit an incense stick in front of him and I watched - how she prayed for his blessings - that sincerity was so human, so real, so genuine.

I just happened to mention about dad's death anniversary when we were in the market the previous day as I did not buy chicken. My neighbor remembered that, told her daughter and what followed after that is for everyone to read.

I believe 90% people care. They do everything right. That 10% who don't do it right, make those headlines either for their own actions or for their spiritually distraught children.

Who will own it up? Whose responsibility is it to build that mindset to own up? 

Joy of sharing

Image Credit: Canva Design

I had my usual plans on my wife’s birthday – a royal treat and a memorable gift. What I was not aware of is - my lady had very different plans this year. To my surprise, she thanked me when I proposed my idea of celebration and politely declined to be part of my usual plan.

We were only too thrilled when she suggested she wanted to celebrate her birthday, this year with orphan children. It is such a simple gesture and yet it was never done before until she came up with that idea. I was stunned and seriously, happy

She had been contemplating on this for quite some time, planned every bit of it and had taken approval from the NGO for this celebration.

So on 20^th April - I, my wife Ranjana and my daughter Garima went to this orphanage that was home for 30 children of different ages.

It is beyond words to express the feeling we shared with these children - moments captured with joy and teary eyes. Ranjana told the children that it was not her birthday but their birthday – each one of them.

We got the cake cut by a little girl first and then each one present there cut the same cake wishing Happy Birthday to one another.

This was followed by snacks, juice, gifts etc. Ranjana sat among the children enjoying her snacks with them. I watched her – She looked blissfully happy.

What is important to mention here is – Each child waited will the last one got his plate served, to begin their gratitude prayers - Thanking God for the food offered to them.

That gesture had a lasting impact on me. I couldn’t hold my tears as I saw these well-mannered children, take little bites of their snacks.

I was trying to read their faces and smiles - They were happy and enjoying every moment.

Now the real entertainment started when we were asked by the children to dance on Bollywood and Tollywood tunes. As the music took momentum, slowly one by one all started to get up and rocked the floor. Everyone was in full mood and we saw some amazing dance performance by these children – My wife and daughter were dancing too.

Finally it was time to say goodbye to children. Life has to go on.

We wished the children good luck. While returning back home Ranjana told that this was the best birthday celebration she ever had. I could see the calmness in her, fully satisfied.

We thanked her for this thought and making us a part of it. I whispered to myself – Unconsciously what a great example this day was for my daughter!!

There is no better feeling than joy of sharing.

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Is It Time To Take U Turn?

Infographic Credit: RSF Admin

Do you see yourself doing the same thing ten years from now?  Yes? No? Not sure?

You will be definitely be doing the same thing, unless you think something different now.

We are what we think

All that we are arises

With our thoughts

With our thoughts

We make our world

- THE BUDDHA

What is the single most important thought that you have lived for all these years - You! 

Can that thought change now?

Doing our bit...

I have used company transportation to commute to office during my corporate days in Bangalore for approximately a decade. 

I used my car when I had to take my parents out, particularly my father. After his attack, way back in 2001, he seemed a little feeble and fragile and so we avoided bus. My mother, on the other hand, likes long bus rides just like me. Give her a window seat; she will wear her collar (Spondylitis) and happily enjoy the trip.

For me, my car was just a temporary need, like my washing machine or the geyser. It bothered me to see people drive 30 – 40 kms every day to reach office, or when someone needs a car even to pick grocery or vegetables, though the shop is just 2 - 3 kms away from home and mostly offer home delivery.

I actually faced real Bangalore traffic when I had to come to office from my village home, after I moved to the outskirts in 2012. Before that, for ten years my old home was just 3 kms away from my office. It was ridiculous to see dozens of cars near Silk Board, Hosa Road with just the owner driving and their laptop bag in the side seat or back seat. 

Don’t they seriously realize they are solely responsible for traffic, pollution, environment hazards and health concerns? When I see many women, use stoles to cover head and filter the air they breathe using the same stole, it immediately makes me wonder about children who are exposed to this, on a daily basis.

A little inconvenience in public transport, a little sweat, a little planning to car-pool, a little waiting for bus or a little early departure from home to reach on time, an occasional bus ride at least once in a while, can actually create a huge difference.

I lost my father in 2011 and since then I hardly need the car. It still stands majestically, in the parking space, more as a memory of what I had bought it for in the first place – to take care of someone. 

That age old question beaten to death in multiple forums still needs attention - Are we not responsible to take care of future generation?

It is only when most of us start using public transport will the authorities take into consideration the potential revenues it can generate and make it better to accommodate more and build quality standards around public transport.

It was great to read about Nandan Nilekani, former CEO of Infosys using a bus on 4^th March this year – doing his bit. I immediately subscribed to his website to know more.

I am doing my bit too.

Are you? Will you?

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P.S – My car is chauffeur driven as I cannot drive, which gives me the solace that the few times I take out my car, some hard working guy is making an extra buck for his family - that is great guilt neutralizer actually:)

How Many Rich Contacts Do You Have?

Based on the above parameters, many!

Just that, we need different kind of rich people for our foundation

Do you know anyone who.........

Mostly uses public transportation to conserve petrol and save environment from pollution and occasionally takes out his car for the comfort of others?

Makes a random auto driver’s day bright with one round about trip during an Indian festival as a means to pay him bonus?

Quit using leather jackets, bags and upholstery as a way of life?

Explored culturally rich India, before making foreign tourism rich and siphoning revenue to other countries?

Returned to India or native town with an intention to do something for others?

Believes in relationships and nurturing them, rather than using them as numbers in invite list and audience in social landscape.

Bothers to pick a puppy from the drain, though he hates dogs?

Inspires others to follow his gradual inward evolution more than his materialistic accomplishments.

We need THEM. Please contact to know more

Can We Have A More Fashionable Cause To Support?

What is more fashionable – Painting the school walls or Global Warming; planting trees or women empowerment; Cancer aid or going viral on mental health?

We have not started our corporate touring to raise funds for old age home yet.  As a business man for over two decades, many corporate have been our clients and my interaction with them is limited to closing deals. I learn from my contacts who work in corporate what happens in the name of CSR activities and how an NGO or school or cause is identified to disburse funds meant for social uplifting. 

The fundamental question is what is more important – The right cause or building company’s brand? How do you want people to remember your company – someone who paints school walls one year and gives sewing machines the second year and desktops to unemployed youth the third year? Caring for the community is a strategy for business and yet, the human connect is the God of all strategies. 

With all your community initiatives, are you able to connect with the community?

Do not shop for causes as it is not only immature but it defeats the purpose. Connect with a cause, not because it is a fashion but because of how passionately you think about it.

Two years back, when my school friend suggested registering a society to create awareness on Dementia, I jumped in. We did not do a survey then to check if this cause was good and fashionable enough. We do market penetration for commodities, not causes. The whole point was - we saw the need to create awareness on Dementia because most of us were clueless. We had a task in hand.

In my capacity in COMPASS, when I sign a check to support children with Autism,  or as a father plan to celebrate 15^th August with orphans or one of us from Ramosara runs for Diabetes – our actions speak louder than words for what Ramosara Foundation’s fundamental and principle philosophy is:

Every cause is important.

Human Life Cycle Care (HLCC) is one of our themes that broaden the horizon for you and us to add value to people’s lives wherever we can, in any cause you feel connected to.

Just get the motives right! And we can claim to be God’s children doing God’s work in our own individual way.

Look forward to read more about our Alternate Living Model under HLCC wing or connect with us to know more.

Author profile

Anup Agarwal is a Physics (H) graduate with a degree/ diploma from Annamalai University and Apple. A successful entrepreneur and has been in Business for close to two decades. He is associated with Lion’s Club for several years. His family trust sponsors Hospital Beds in Malda. He is also aligned to social activities for COMPASS i.e. Computer Association for Eastern India. He is life member of compass. He is a key member of Ramosara Foundation

Coffee, Sizzlers, Dosa, Fun, what else?

Image Source: Office.com

We three were placed in different parts of Kolkata –With forthcoming exams, responsibilities in office and home, prior engagements during weekends - our meeting seemed impossible. Finally we decided to meet on a week day promising each other we will wind up in one hour. One had to pick up her daughter, I had to return home and pick up my new lap top that day and the third one had a son preparing for his Higher Secondary exams.

It all started with wow how we looked, what we were doing to stay fit, what the rest of our school friends were doing, and gradually the discussion went on to something else – There were so many ideas popping up as we spoke that I had to use the tissue paper to scribble and work on those actionable thoughts and suggestions that my friend who is the director of an NGO kept pouring incessantly.

Even after two rounds of order – Masala Dosa, Vada, sizzlers and two rounds of coffee, our discussion continued and it lasted for close to three hours. The daughter got picked up by the husband. The poor son had to study on his own. The laptop really had to wait till 8 PM. What did we talk about after all?

·         Workshops for Caregivers to Dementia patients including training from Psychologists

·         Newspaper Campaign to support Dementia patients

·         How to handle learning disability in children and parents?

We had fun meeting our old school friends and some great exchange of ideas. The point is – let us have fun, an active social life, party hard, dance like crazy, have fun all the way!

Are we having fun with a sense of responsibility?

In your next party at home or family picnic outside, before you give that one big Biryani order for forty people, ask yourself if you would like to increase the revenue of an established outlet or the widow who runs a food joint around the corner whose son is in class V. You heard that her food is great, from many who have tried. What is stopping you to order - Is it your fetish for brand, your image in the online universe or hygiene or quality?

Bill Gates rightly said - there are three kinds of wealthy people – one who owns everything - yacht, island and half the world, one who invests in business to make more for the world, one who donates to charity organizations to make a difference to the world.  (May be not those exact words, that is the essence though)

Have Fun! Do we need to be brand conscious morons when we have a choice and the power to lift someone else?

You are wealthy, now get rich! No, they are not the same thing.

Author Profile: Kakuli Nag