Being Aware Is Not Enough – Act!

When a well wisher forwarded this today, I remembered the first draft of my mail I had sent to few of my contacts a couple of years back - trying to find like minded people to form the society with the objective to create awareness on Dementia.

Now when people reach out to us when a Dementia patient is missing or when they find a relative is suffering from Dementia and they do not know how to deal with it, I have to ask three fundamental questions:

Is awareness enough?
Is there any action we can take now?
Is it possible to avoid?

You need not be part of an NGO, or any movement – just be responsible for yourself. Some things really are not in the capacity of an NGO as those are individual choices. Awareness bit is our scope. Action piece is yours.

Your life style
Your pursuits
Your priorities

The whole of this year went in shaping a model called BLESS (Book Library and Exchange Skills/ Services) conceptualized by a few voracious readers which is platform to share learning, skills and engage people in meaningful activities – change lives, thought patterns and even belief system. As we know, just being aware is not enough, this was an attempt to allow people escape routine and make community initiative a personal choice and also take care of their well being.

Next time you are part of anti obesity drive or walk for Diabetes or attend a workshop on Dementia, go beyond awareness, Act!! Like my friend just did, by forwarding this to me.

Author Profile:

Kakuli Nag has authored two books and is a consultant for learning solutions and content strategy.


Source: Publication Daily Mirror



Do You Have A Reason To Run Or Just A Season?

Have you reached the grounds as part of a corporate initiative or to meet more people and have fun? Is your agenda just to network, build relationships, pick those T Shirts and caps, click photographs and glam up facebook albums? Is the whole Marathon or Walkathon to hit kilometres in a specific time frame just a self absorbed, self bloating engine? Or is it just fashion?

I walk approximately five kilometres every morning and some evenings do twenty rounds in my corridor. So my neighbor probably thought I was the perfect person to join her daughter for a Walkathon that was scheduled on 15th November from Kanteerva Stadium sponsored and presented by Lifestyle - A Landmark Group Initiative.

Before I agreed or asked any question regarding the event – How many kilometers, what time, starting point etc I wanted to know if the event was supporting any cause. The link that was shared for registration said “Beat Diabetes” I was on for the Walkathon.

Late in the evening that day, my mother told my nephew in Kolkata that I had walked a few kilometers that morning with a few hundred people to beat diabetes. I am not sure if that registered in his mind immediately.

My nephew is a juvenile diabetic, since he was thirteen years old – He had regular dozes of insulin for a few years and is now on medicines with a dozen restrictions. His recent tests, done almost the same time the Walkathon was held, reflected sugar level on the higher side again. Inspite of repeated requests we could never get him to have Walking in his exercise regime, which is highly recommended for diabetic patients. He would always promise that he will walk and then as usual - human inertia.

My nephew could not ignore this simple gesture I made for the cause. Again, I am not sure, if it is to beat his own sugar level or to respect my effort or thank me, since a week, he is walking for an hour every morning, my sister confirmed.

It is really not about record you create or break, it is the meaning you bring along that counts.You really have to save your energy to be able to run a full marathon. More than that, Diabetes or Dementia – does not matter, save the cause.

About the Author:

Kakuli Nag is a Learning Consultant with 18 years of corporate experience in Sales, Training and Consulting. An avid blogger in multiple forums. advocatingoutcomes@blogspot.com

Cash or Kind?

Honestly, I was clueless.

The response I got from one of the orphanages actually caught me off guard. I innocently wanted to know if it is okay to get gifts for kids when I visit them. I was told in detail about the condition of the school’s infrastructure and they were pretty direct about seeking cash donations only. I suddenly felt small and helpless – the tiny wish I had to spend time with kids seemed remote. They did not refuse however they voiced repeatedly that they had a tight schedule. OK I got the message. I just experienced being let down, not invited, unwanted and surplus. Why was I doing all this in the first place?

I spoke to another orphanage expecting them to be different. This time I deliberately ignored the gift part and just stated that I wanted to visit them. The founder was busy and suggested we meet his wife. Although he was pretty much polite and warm over phone compared to the other gentleman I spoke to, I was a little apprehensive and still had that lingering feeling of a cold response.

My friend who was supposed to join me was the co founder of an NGO that runs a program where they encourage people to celebrate their birthdays with orphans. I was not at all aware of the program but as my birthday was just few days away, she was all excited about the perfect timing.

We spoke to the founder Mr. Thomas for an hour or so – the history of 37 years old Familia. This really was not a conventional home, it was based on commune building with foster parents. A man with so much devotion, commitment and zeal, who proudly showed his children’s photographs, happily married and some of them who contribute to this mission that continued his legacy for close to four decades uninterrupted. For most part I remained a silent observer, which I usually am, with a nod here and a smile there.

It is only and only when I saw the whole place, through the eyes of Mamuni, an inmate there, walked through the acres - things began to change. The pride in her voice, the sense of belonging she had, the warmth in her touch when she posed with us for photographs, the way she coaxed us to enter one of the homes to meet the kids who were rehearsing a Tollywood number for the evening program, that twinkle in her eye when she told about her ambition to be a nurse because it was father’s dream (The Founder), the mention of the near by old age home where her grandmother died a couple of years back –As I heard her, the cold responses I received in the morning seemed to fade and a warm feeling return in its place.

The way she stretched her hands enthusiastically to indicate the vastness of the property in which a few buildings were homes for over 50 children, a few farms that were revenue generating models to run the homes apart from the foreign funds, a bakery in house that serves supply of bread for children and staff, plenty of trees, a few ponds full of fishes, an upcoming school, the plants and saplings her mother planted –The only thing evident during that tour was, the young girl was talking about HER HOME.

So Cash or Kind? Of course Cash when you know it is in safe hands, well utilized. It is not always about income tax benefit when you donate. It is a connect deep down. Sponsor a day’s Lunch donating five thousand or just give chocolates and pens on special ocassions, the Mamunis there with their small and big dreams will make you want to do more, as they appreciate your time and gestures so very much! You feel tall and good inside – And transformed within.


Author Profile

Anindita Basu is associated with one of the leading companies in the steel industry. She loves travelling and is aiming towards entrepreneurship in near future.

DADA Series (Dignified Ageing and Dementia Awareness) Courtesy: Sanchita Chakraborty

DO’S AND DON’TS OF COMMUNICATION

DO

Talk to the person in a tone that conveys respect and dignity.

Keep your explanations short. Use clear and flexible language.

Maintain eye contact by positioning yourself at the person’s eye level.

Look directly at the person and ensure that you have their attention before you speak. Always begin by identifying yourself and explain what it is you propose to do.

Use visual cues whenever possible.

Be realistic in expectations.

Observe and attempt to interpret the person’s non verbal communication.

Paraphrase and use a calm and reassuring tone.

Speak slowly and say individual words clearly. Use strategies to reduce the effects of hearing impairment.

Encourage talk about things that they are familiar with.

Use touch if appropriate.

DON’T

Talk to the person in ‘baby talk’ or as if you are talking to a child.

Use complicated words or phrases and long sentences.

Glare at, or “eyeball” the person you are talking to.

Begin a task without explaining who you are or what you are about to do.

Talk to the person without eye contact, such as while rummaging in a drawer to select clothing.

Try and compete with a distracting environment.

Provoke a catastrophic reaction through unrealistic expectations or by asking the person to do more than one task at a time.

Disregard your own non verbal communication.

Disregard talk that may seem to be “rambling”.

Shout or talk too fast.

Interrupt unless it cannot be helped.

Attempt to touch or invade their personal space if they are showing signs of fear or aggression.


CARING FOR THE CAREGIVER

As a caregiver, you must learn to nurture your own needs. Here are a few recommendations to help you cope with the demanding role of being a caregiver:

Look for support — many family caregivers withdraw from family and friends because they feel no one understands. It is very helpful and in many cases, therapeutic, for you to join a support group where you can learn from others through sharing your experiences.

Let go of guilt — Let go of the “guilt trip” by realizing a need to temporarily set aside caregiving responsibilities for a period of respite.

Nurture the body — Be sure to get enough sleep and eat properly.

Take breaks from caregiving as often as possible by asking other family members to help.

Establish limits — Say no to requests that are beyond your capacity and say yes to offers of help from family and friends.

Author Profile:

Sanchita Chakraborti, a Minnesota Graduate with 14 years of Corporate Experience in various capacities in global sales, strategy and research functions, a fitness freak and a voracious reader.


References

The Dementia India Report 2010
Dementia Care: A Guide for Family Caregivers by Home Instead Senior Care

DADA Series (Dignified Ageing and Dementia Awareness) Courtesy: Sanchita Chakraborty

TOP TEN TIPS FOR DEALING WITH DEMENTIA SYMPTOMS

STOP!! Think about what you are about to do and consider the best way to do it.

PLAN AND EXPLAIN – Who you are; what you want to do; why you want to do it etc.

SMILE!! The person who takes their cue from you will mirror your relaxed and positive body language and tone of voice.

GO SLOW!! You have a lot to do and you are in a rush; but the person you are caring for isn’t. If the person is resistive or aggressive but is NOT causing harm to themselves or others, leave them alone. Give them time to settle down and approach them later.

GIVE THEM SPACE!! Any activity that involves invasion of personal space INCREASES THE RISK OF ASSAULT AND/OR AGGRESSION. Every time you provide care for a person you are invading their space.

STAND ASIDE!! Always provide care from the side not the front of the person, where you may be a target to hit, kick etc.

DISTRACT THEM!! Talk to the person about things they enjoyed in the past. Whilst you are providing care, allow them to hold a towel or something that will distract them.

KEEP IT QUIET!! Check noise level and reduce it when and where possible. Turn off the radio and TV etc.

DON’T ARGUE!! They are RIGHT and you are WRONG! The demented brain tells the person they can’t be wrong.

KNOW THE PERSON!! Orientate to their surroundings as necessary. If they become upset by this reality, validate and agree with their feelings.

MEANINGFUL ACTIVITIES

For an individual with dementia a meaningful activity is anything that fills time with a purpose and keeps them occupied. Being occupied and feeling included are two of the main psychological needs of people with dementia. Examples of meaningful activities include:

1. Sorting laundry
2. Going for a walk
3. Reading the newspaper or looking at pictures in magazines
4. Potting plants or bulbs or watering plants

Cooking in safety may be valuable and will make the person with dementia feel they are contributing to the daily tasks in the house. Setting tables, clearing up, washing and drying dishes are all familiar activities.

Music as a therapy has been well documented in dementia care.

Activities should be about pleasure and success, not stretching or challenging the person.

Activities should complement lifetime habits so it is important to be familiar with the likes and dislikes of the person with dementia. Things that gave the person pleasure and made them laugh before the dementia will still do so later on.


References

1. The Dementia India Report 2010
2. Dementia Care: A Guide for Family Caregivers by Home Instead Senior Care

____________________________________________________________________________

Author Profile:

Sanchita Chakraborti, a Minnesota Graduate with 14 years of Corporate Experience in various capacities in global sales, strategy and research functions, a fitness freak and a voracious reader.

DADA Series (Dignified Ageing and Dementia Awareness) Courtesy: Sanchita Chakraborty

WHAT IS DEMENTIA?

The World Health Organization (WHO) describes dementia as: “…a syndrome due to disease of the brain, usually of a chronic or progressive nature, of which there is impairment of multiple higher cortical functions…”

What this definition means is that the following functions may be affected in a person with dementia:

Memory – This is where a person may become forgetful of things such as names or recent events. The person’s short-term memory is usually affected leading them to forget recent events.

Orientation – A person with dementia may become lost even in a familiar environment.

Comprehension – The person may have difficulty understanding what it is you are trying to explain to them or what you are asking of them.

Emotions – Very low stress levels can occur in someone with dementia and they may therefore overreact to seemingly ordinary situations. A person with dementia may misinterpret a situation and become easily upset or agitated.

Judgment – A culmination of some or all of the above can result in poor judgment regarding others or themselves.

India is a diverse country with geographical and socio-cultural differences. We have a rapidly aging population, which currently exceeds more than a 100 million people. This number will steadily increase in the coming decades. Age related disabling conditions like dementia would increase and have a wider impact depending on the socio-cultural context.

It is estimated that over 3.7 million people were affected by dementia in our country in 2010. This is expected to double by 2030. Despite the magnitude, there is gross ignorance; neglect and services are scarce for people with dementia and their families. We know that dementia is not part of aging and it is caused by a variety of diseases. We now have a range of options to treat the symptoms of dementia and offer practical help to those affected. The challenge posed by dementia as a health and social issue is of a scale we can no longer ignore.

CHALLENGING BEHAVIOUR

People with dementia exhibit the following behaviors:

1. Restlessness
2. Aggression
3. Agitation
4. Wandering
5. Shadowing
6. Anxiety
7. Depressed mood
8. Hallucinations
9. Delusions

Caregivers are encouraged to view dementia as a disability that can be compensated for by positive approaches. People with dementia continue to function at an emotional level and will pick up on another person’s feelings (particularly if they are stressed or upset or annoyed) via body language, tone of voice and facial expression.

References

1. The Dementia India Report 2010
2. Dementia Care: A Guide for Family Caregivers by Home Instead Senior Care

____________________________________________________________________________

Author Profile:

Sanchita Chakraborti, a Minnesota Graduate with 14 years of Corporate Experience in various capacities in global sales, strategy and research functions, a fitness freak and a voracious reader.

A piece of you!

It is not a smart thing to do – to refuse money or pretend that you are way above real cash.

They all have the best of intentions when they try to assist our NGO with a contact that will fund our projects. In July, a relative wanted me to join her in Nagpur so that she could introduce me to important people who will be keen to sponsor. Another well-wisher, even before asking our NGO’s name, shared a name at C-level to support fund raising. When asked, why he wants to assist our NGO, one of the reasons were that he works with a political party and contributes to people like me who take responsibility of helping society. “People like me?”

At this stage, we want volunteers to own our projects, people to drive social entrepreneurship, support our initiatives, echo for us, be our ambassadors - more WITH TIME, than WITH MONEY. We focus on the “being” part of Human Being, so the labels cannot influence our journey. Just be good to do good, it works.

We need people with high integrity, character ethics and not just someone driven by superficial personality mirage. We need youth with sensitivity, whose inward journey has begun, aspiring global citizens.

We can always prepare a call script to outsource fund raising activity and have a dozen strangers do it mechanically without any sense of ownership to impact lives. As of now, we need personal ownership, not postman service – a piece of you! It is not about a maddening pursuit for money.

Will YOU write the next blog for us?
Will YOU call that sponsor and talk about what we do?
Will YOU stand in the stall with us to sell a painting by a spastic child or a handicraft to support a home?
Will YOU spend your birthday in an orphanage?
Will YOU make an effort to learn more about us?

Regardless of how much you nurture a plant, it has a time frame to bear fruits. There is no short cut to that. Try to assist a chicken that is trying to break free from the shell by an external force, to make it easy for the chicken, in all probability it will die. We draw our strengths from our struggle to change people’s mindset, thought patterns, way of life, sensitivities and sensibilities – The Shell. Money can wait. We are one and a half years old NGO and we really want to behave like one.

Next time someone remarks on world poverty with a self-sufficient mentality, “Our country has not reported any deaths due to hunger” we have a task in hand – change frame of reference! We do not need money to do that. Do we?


About the Author

Kakuli Nag is a Leaning Consultant for project needs analysis with BECKON model that advocates for outcomes. 18 years of corporate experience in Sales, Learning and Marketing. An avid writer in multiple forums.

Which phase are you in?

A man is said to pass through different stages in his lifetime. Dr. Wayne W. Dyer categorizes them as athlete stage, warrior stage, statesperson stage and spirit stage. Abdul Kalam believes even nations go through these transitions and called the last two stages as Big Brother and Self realization stages respectively.

Athlete stage is that energetic pursuit of performance and achievement

Warrior stage is that goal setting, pride of achievements and finding ways to demonstrate superiority

In the big brother stage, with a somewhat tamed ego, focus shifts to what is also important to others and societies – still achievers but not so inclined or obsessed to prove strength or superiority.

Self-realization stage is where humans matter, not families or nations alone, and certainly not self.

There are many senior people all around us who are very well established and highly successful, their children well settled, however even after their retirement, they still could not get past that demonstrating superiority stage. Initially their subject of discussion revolves around their own materialistic achievements - the villa, the cars, the foreign trips, the club memberships, the high profile job, then it is their children’s achievement – the foreign degree, their villas, their cars and their high paid jobs or medical profession or whatever, finally the subject is their grand children who is a ranker in school, great dancer, swimmer, athlete etc. It is not parental pride; it is plain and simple bloated ego! The Warrior Stage!

At times even if there is a will, it is always not possible to adopt an orphan child, or sponsor a senior’s treatment or child’s education every month – one can at least begin by being sensitive enough not to flaunt their achievements in front of people who do not have the means. Instead, they could share their struggles with them, their humble beginnings before their success in a manner, not to stamp their personal ego but in way others can relate and be inspired to enhance their quality of life. Is this anything less of giving? Someone’s life is getting impacted positively because of the life you lived; the success you tasted and the ready willingness you have to assist another achieve the same.

That is one of RSF’s core themes – Human Life Cycle Care that runs on the belief that any small or large scale social impact cannot be limited to a dozen institution’s responsibility alone, it has to be an individual choice. The next time you raise your maid’s pay or tip the waiter, be generous. The big brother stage is not about what you have gathered for yourself but what and how much, you have learnt to give.

If you are done with the first two stages and want to do something meaningful, feel free to contact us as we have several projects to be taken up by people with that intent. Twenty or Sixty, regardless of the age, the only criterion is you should be really done with the first two stages.

References:

Ignited Minds – APJ Abdul Kalam

For more details or to support our projects, contact ramosara.foundation@gmail.com

Make Meaning in what you do

Just imagine, working in a senior position in a large IT company in a major metro with considerable name, money, respect and responsibility. Alternatively, imagine another scenario. You work all your waking hours to establish yourself all over again in a completely alien environment, no one to question you, not sure whether your hard work will pay off, not many understand or appreciate what you do, with absolutely zero assurance of any credit to your account on the 1st of the following month.

Does this saga sound familiar? It sure does as all those who leave their well-paid jobs to start their own ventures with a dream to live their life a little more beyond the walls of a corporate job and soar the vast sky of possibilities, trying to make a difference, have more or less the same story to relate. I am no different. As an entrepreneur, I have had my low and high times - sweat, agony, frustration, excitement, freedom, pride, and sense of accomplishment.

My beginnings were humble with bare minimum resources, the journey from college to corporate with warm wishes of many people was smooth and with an attitude never to give up and sheer persistence, I probably could reach the advisory board of any organization in the corporate world, but then what next? What about the rest of the summers I would live?

The economics of big business, the politics of big economics, the combination of short lived success and long standing failures or otherwise, the humiliation and celebrations of life, the ups and downs only sharpens your focus to take that plunge you have been wanting to take for a long time. And I did, with a little bit of coaxing from my son.

My background, my understanding of the challenges to get industry ready work force with the right behavioral skills, allowed me to believe that I could be the architect for a better India in my own way. India being a 1.2 billion people country, average age of 26, with rapid urbanization, millions of capable and educated young people who had the potential, could be empowered to be leaders, thinkers, apart from being just breadwinners. Though, tough, I chose the road less traveled, out of my cozy cocoon of corporate comfort and ventured to a start-up!

The benefits that my corporate job offered me by default does not interest me the way it did earlier. Today, Blue Tiger, which I founded with couple for friends works, with a simple vision to assist people live the best of their lives and enjoy the beautiful journey called life with the core principle “Life is Simple, Keep it that way!”

I now understand why I was approached by this NGO to write a blog – It is not because of who I am, what my degrees are, where I worked, what label I carry, how influential I am, who I know but what I currently do. Which automatically leads me to believe, would they even bother to call me if I owned a wine shop or a casino or probably if I remained stuck to my old job? Is my work affecting anyone in a positive way was their only qualifying criteria?

They were so sure about my competence in writing that they asked me to write the blog without bothering if it fits their NGO’s agenda. They assured me that my blog would certainly drive one of their key messages  – Social Impact in what you do!

____________________________

Author Profile:

Sampath Iyengar is CEO and Chief Coach at Blue Tiger, a platform for excellence through learning, with 25 years of corporate experience. He is an avid reader, well traveled, fitness monk and a long distance runner.

Life is Simple, keep it that way.

Just a way of life!

Something crossed my mind a couple of months back when I first learnt about this NGO from my neighbor – Human life cycle care, social impact, Dementia awareness, fun with a cause etc  – all of it got jumbled and was lost in my routine of Job hunt, cooking, driving classes, groceries, home, son, husband - my personal priorities of course.

As I was an above average student in school, back home, everyone’s expectations were I would end up doing a high paid job. An early marriage did not allow me to even explore that option. Now with my nine-year-old son’s dependency on me, significantly reduced, the hunt began.

I had loads of energy and I channelized it by teaching in a school for six months for free, voluntarily running a Library in our residential complex Park to inculcate reading habit in all residents and ensure children’s cyber well being. As volunteers, we did not bear any infrastructure cost nor charged any reading fee but just utilized our own book collection and leveraged my personal furniture.

Recently we were all part of Green Initiative where we planted around 50 saplings in and around our complex, which seemed like a celebration and it was heartening to watch how involved the children were by being the first one to be around, planting, tapping mud, sprinkling water, carrying sapling to the proposed place to assist a senior plant it.

Again couple of weeks before that we had pot luck lunch that was arranged for fun on a neighbor’s birthday, however it was aimed to be a platform for greater good – A platform to exchange services that neighbors were willing to offer - Interiors of a house, tutor children, Day Care or Language learning, acquire new skills like embroidery or avail parlor or tailoring or catering services. A potential business model if one invests in a website with this data of available services from every residential complex in this belt, charge a nominal fee for inserting every new business or service in the site – which could be so useful for the residents in this layout and support upcoming entrepreneurs.

Meanwhile, a start up school engaged my services and after I got my first salary, I remembered exactly what had crossed my mind when I first heard about the NGO – I will sponsor at least something for RSF whenever I can.

I am yet to know what all they do.  While Dementia awareness is their core theme (I heard about Dementia for the first time from a member of this NGO), they are enthusiastic about anything that drives social impact – Library, Green Initiative, Career counseling, getting funds for a school and does not matter who coordinates or conducts it. They do not belong to Stick-for-a-click clan where a person/ organization/ celebrity sticks to a cause which ends with just a click - photograph, they do not use high-sounding slogans  – Save a child, “Giving” is a chemical formula, profitability with social justice, pause for a cause – they just make caring for the society your way of life. Human Life Cycle Care does make sense now. It just makes you a little selfless.

And being able to sponsor the badges, I am not creating any impact for RSF – I am the impact.

Shilpa Shreeharsha is a teacher in an English Medium School situated in the suburbs of Bangalore, an avid reader and an enthusiast for social good. 

What is your legacy?

Source: Film Flows Uneven – The World on Wheels

The legendary actor Soumitra Chatterjee’s word of encouragement for AHEAD –

“The organizations who consolidate and support the work of such care givers do a great deed and it is a very positive step ahead”

I was happy to know the short film Flows Uneven – The World on Wheels will be screened in International ‘Other Film Festival” in Australia this year.

If I had shot this film, I would take the viewers through those doors in AHEAD, through those little minds there in the class rooms learning about life, the discovery they make each day to stretch and reach their full potential, the trust of proud parents who see how able their dear ones can be in the care of those trained teachers. And who is the man behind this movement AHEAD – Some one with lots of money, power and influence?

I would then begin to tell the story of someone real, someone next door who knew - It is not your personal history that makes you who you are - it’s your response to it (Richard Bandler). What a response this man has given to the world, all these years!

The world mostly showed little tolerance and patience with his shortcomings. His limited mobility and associated grievances could have slowed him down but his contribution has been far better than most of us who are standing still on our feet, without any legacy at all.

A first class first in M.Com, a Ph. D, a Cost Accountant, a degree in Advanced Financial Management from Glasgow University with scholarship from British Council, retired as DGM after 34 years in Garden Reach Shipbuilders & Engineers Ltd. -. What good were these degrees and the job he did?

This is where he stands apart from the rest of us – involved in conserving nature, a regular activist for disabled, worked for the welfare of tribes, a composer, a writer, whose energies have always been directed to impact other’s lives positively through different channels. In GRSE, he was instrumental in providing employment to about 20 people with handicap. In 1979 he founded AHEAD, a school and a pre- vocational training center for special people.

For a man of this stature who has been awarded multiple times including Helen Keller, Birsa, for a fighter like him who refused to compromise or take any concession owing to his state and for a movement of this magnitude, is it justified to highlight the wheels alone and even title the film based on that?

Wasting precious reel time on an empty wheel chair at the very outset, with camera angle dwelling on “not haves” and “Can’t do” people rather than the smiles the man created and the grit he displayed. Even the script kind of pushed that sentimentality combining an awkward mix of real people and actors to reflect different states with serious lapse in sequencing.

The enthusiastic voices I heard in the film of parents, teachers, siblings showering positive comments seemed more excited to be part of the film. My way would be to get a real story of a family whose child is in AHEAD that would have said it all about how Dr Chowdhury has made a difference or track some one from GSRE who was hired and share his experience.

I am clueless, why are the wheels so important in the film?  I am at war with creative people’s need for expression as that kind of dwarfs and dilutes the intention of creativity in the first place. The reason to share this critical review is to encourage people to go beyond the film to watch the man in action, the movement in progress.

Dr Chowdhury’s books, his music, his family’s support to AHEAD, even this film capturing moments of his life are not his legacy. It is the way he has touched so many lives that will remain his true legacy.

What is your legacy? When you do not get that kick factor any more with a salary hike, a promotion, a new job, new purchase, when you are tired of uploading all those pictures on face book and those hundreds of likes seem mundane, it is time to work on your legacy.

What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others – Pericles, Greek Statesman

The Man                    http://www.aseshkbc.com/

The Movement        www.aheadindia.org

Moving Ahead



Source: Ahead's Notice Board Student's Art



 

It was just fever initially, during Christmas in 2013 and that lead to hospitalization, tests, learning about good cells and bad cells in our body, that if the bad cells increase, hemoglobin count invariably goes low and it is called Cancer. When I had watched Rajesh Khanna in Anand or Jaya Bhaduri in Mili years back, it was very different then learning about cancer, however when you know it is your own mother – one who single handedly raised me and my daughter till she was almost 17 due to the proximity of my father’s and in laws house, took care of my father who suffered from Parkinson for years, managed the domestic chores all by herself and was my support system all my life – my world collapsed.

As I was grappling with this reality unable to share this with her and constantly lied to her about her illness, it seemed like my father who was fully dependant on mother for his daily needs, was annoyed being taken care by my husband and me, as mother was often in hospital for transfusion – and he was clueless why. Two weeks into 2014, one day just after breakfast, he passed away. I looked at him, took mother to hospital as her hemoglobin had dropped to 5 while he lay in his room with everyone around him mourning and he waiting for me to return from the hospital to do the last rites. How dramatic! Did he leave us so that I can focus on mother? It so seemed like that. As I was back from the funeral that night, my cousin sister called me from Bangalore.

Being single with no sibling, I was close to this cousin who was just one and half years older to me. I choked when she called but managed to say – “Chole aay na” (Come) – as I wanted my mother to be surrounded by relatives in this hour of crisis. Against all odds, she managed tickets and came to Kolkata two days before my father’s 13-day ritual. The day she reached, as she combed my hair, she spoke about a lot of things – the world is an extended family, rebirth, natural laws, God has a reason – I had heard other versions of these lines several times since my father’s death – none of which made sense – but was soothing nonetheless. She was very positive about my mother’s health and showered me with names that fought cancer.

It is strange, even as my mother was in the hospital on 19^th Feb with convulsions, abnormal heart beat, losing sense every 15 minutes, she rushed to the nursing home and continued to tell me based on some faith healing that mother will survive. I almost believed her only to be shattered the following morning. The minute I saw her after mother passed away – I screamed at her “Tui Bole chili Bhogbaan Ache” (You told me God is there) – and I cannot recall what else I told her almost triggered by insanity having lost both my parents in a span of one month.

My maternal uncle works for an NGO AHEAD in Golf Green dealing with Autism. My cousin told him that she wanted to visit the center. We both went there, met the teachers and students, saw their classes in progress, the auditorium etc. My cousin was glad that I joined her to visit the center and I had also started reading her books for spiritual initiation. She asked me to blog my experience how I was trying to move ahead after the vacuum that was created in my life.

My uncle had been working in AHEAD for over two decades and I never visited the center. Just one day before my mother’s 13-day ritual, we did and when one of the students with autism sang for us and demanded we clap and cheer her, our smiles merged to make the most of what we have rather than what we don’t. After all, the world is indeed an extended family. I continued to argue with God and still do, to take both my parents away unless my mind got gradually diverted to place called Brotochary Ashram for old people in the vicinity of my residence. Do we need a permanent setback in life to think of the world as an extended family and other seniors as your own? God forbid!! Believing in a social cause is not a fashion statement for me any more. Its existence!

Soma Manna is a resident of Kolkata with 17 years of corporate experience.

Happy Birthday Ramosara!!

Our Foundation is a year old now. While we are still crawling, and not on our feet yet, we have covered some distance -

§        We had to unlearn many myths to learn basic truths about running an NGO. We know it is far easier to click ourselves teaching poor children in sheds, visible in social circuits, corporate reach, spam social media sites to create awareness and the numbers will do good to our reports- we opted to stay in our shell preparing ourselves to be part of something different - to make everyone have a desire for social change that is in their capacity, in whatever way possible – true to our motto – blend and transform lives.

§      Our blog was the only channel to reach out to our well wishers. We did not want our blog to be influenced by a social media strategist. We are people oriented so we reached out to Film stars, writers, professional be it senior leaders or entry level resources, NRI etc to share their views about Ramosara, its objectives, motto, Dementia, financial support system for proposed old age home while we guided them with an outline regarding what we want to say the world.

§       Our Ambassador:  Deepti Naval, Actress and Author trusted us even before we started our work and that little support gave us huge momentum.

§       An Open Library Model in residential complex with no infrastructure cost, no reading charges, just a nominal fee to add book collection and create Tagore’s Santiniketan in every residential park to inculcate reading habit and take care of their cyber well being.

§     Our Volunteers: Our website is up now and the volunteer is a web designer who did not charge us a rupee. Other volunteers write blog, share an article on Dementia, and ring us with an idea to raise funds or connect with people. Our volunteers are our support system who back up our belief – we will not let this effort die – even when things are slow.

                                                

§        Our Membership drive, have connected people across geography who believe in the cause and want to make a difference, who shared their personal trials on our blogs. It is our members who have merged their vision with ours and could see what is still blurred and that faith means a lot.

§       Our Tie ups were either to promote “Sale for a Cause” or “Celebrate with a larger family” is just the beginning.

§        Our Free Services Life skills and Career Counselling, Spoken English is available for free and will soon be a structured offering

§        Revenue Generating Models: Corporate Leaders are being encouraged to develop revenue generating models with support from governing body members to generate funds to promote RSF objectives. An outcome based learning program will soon have all stakeholders contribute 10% of their fees to RSF.

Every time someone asks us how our project is doing, we want to thank that person. We want to be asked more frequently so that we have more to say. And we will have a lot to say in years to come.

                                                             

                                                            ********************