You Are Doing Great Things And Going Places, Just Wanted To Know – Are You Happy?

Image Credit: RSF

Here is a subject that is close to my heart - It is close because it is a lesson I learnt after living over three decades of my life. The lesson was taught by our very own teacher called time.

To me being happy means:

·        Do everything that gives us a feel good vibe.

·        Refuse to do anything that does not feel good, no matter what the pressure is

·        Not to give ourselves permission to do something that will hurt another living being (even if it gives us good vibes due to some quirky sense of humor)

It is simple but not easy. All we need to do is let go of our nature to compare ourselves with others, to judge others without actually being in their shoes or living their lives and that nagging fear of making wrong choices or our anger when we do make those mistakes.

In other words we are human beings and we will always try to validate ourselves with our known benchmarks. For us it is a natural thing to do. How can we overcome our shortcomings?

 “Acceptance” - Accepting ourselves as we are, loving ourselves even when we made wrong choices and living life as it is meant to be lived - one day at a time!

Be happy as that is the key to your mental health. What gym is to your body, being happy is to your mind.

You look depressed after viewing those hundred odd photographs of your friend’s world tour or Scuba diving or that handsome hunk or the glass cut beauty in their engagement albums.

Go back to bullet no. two, before you add weeds, mess with your mind and stay depressed rest of the day. Happiness is not something you create - it is a state of mind. Only you can own that.

When you have a senior person in your house suddenly talk about his childhood, live in those days as if he is in college or just married, address people with names of that time – it probably does not occur to you that the man who looks physically fine and healthy is displaying one of the early symptoms of Dementia.

You can’t take charge of your mind when it is already affected, be responsible today! Be happy – that is the surest way to take care of your mind.

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Author Profile: Kalpana Mahalingam

Kalpana has always been inclined towards betterment of children's welfare, supporting upcoming entrepreneurs/ boutique managers with financial contribution to support their cause. She is an artist, conversationalist, fluent in German and currently dwelling on her French and guitar classes. After several years in Corporate, she is now on her own entrepreneurial journey.

The Last Few Years

Lord Richard Attenborough’s death is still reeling in our minds – The 1982 magic with Gandhi and all those Oscars, his appearance in dinosaur blockbuster Jurassic Park, his work as a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF and other humanitarian causes – He is so fondly remembered, for everything he was, everything he did. RIP.

How did this man survive his last few years? I will touch upon this in just a minute.

Many are not sure if DADA (Dignified Aging and Dementia Awareness) one of the key themes of Ramosara Foundation will fly off. Would anyone actually want to switch to an old age home willingly? Sell their house to plan retirement in a Home? Would anyone in their thirties plan and save to live in an old age home after a certain age? That is exactly the idea Ramosara Foundation is promoting – Old Age Home as a Life Style Option. Is that not against our culture and belief system? Hold on to that doubt too.

Yet deep down, many will want this idea to work. There is no guarantee about our physical health and how long we will live – how well our minds will work? As you age, this gradual dependence on others is the painful part - particularly when you find your family member’s course of lives change only because of you – A son unable to take that international assignment as he is worried stiff about you - Whether they let go of that opportunity gladly to accommodate you or not so gladly, you do have your pangs of guilt.

DADA is just to bring a tiny round of awareness in you for such possibilities of dependence in future, encourage you to plan well in advance to live with dignity without disturbing any other family member’s space. Make it a personal choice. A conscious choice! To move!

The whole concept of DADA is to say, you really do not have to be pitted against a wall or be constrained by circumstances to decide moving to an Old Age Home - just plan for it as one of your options like you plan other things in life. If people can buy life insurances, why not buy a nice cozy room with food, attendant and health check up services for your later years too?

Through DADA, we are fast-forwarding you mentally twenty to thirty years from now to allow you to visualize possible realities. Wishful thinking is fine however a reality check is better any day. There is more to this age, than just financial security, health check up and medicine. If you lose that sense of belonging with your family, you lose it all!

Lord Attenborough was confined to wheelchair after a stroke in 2008, in March last year he moved to a home for elderly, his wife Sheila Sim, 92 a year older than him who suffers from Dementia had been in that home since middle of 2012. Both assisted to found and fund the home to ensure it runs well.

If someone of his magnitude, who was known as ‘Titan of British Cinema’ by BAFTA, some one who had connects with the royal family, an amazing actor and brilliant director - could live his last years in an elderly home, you never really know! Life is unpredictable.

Exercise your choice now. If you want to know more about DADA, please reach out to ramosara.foundation@gmail.com for more details